After the sudden passing of her husband, Ryan Harter-Berg, in 2019, Leslie Harter-Berg sought a meaningful way to preserve his memory for their young sons. Facing the prospect of their children's memories of their father fading, she developed a heartwarming annual tradition.

A Legacy Through a High School List

Inspired by a 'List of Things to Do Before Death' Ryan created in high school, Leslie and her sons now celebrate his birthday, March 8th, by checking off items from this quirky list. This initiative aims to help Wit, Rory, and Rhys connect with their father's personality and aspirations.

Fulfilling Ryan's Aspirations

The list, which includes accomplished goals like 'Get married' and 'Have kids,' has led to memorable family activities. In 2022, they fulfilled 'Go to a public facility dressed as a pirate,' embracing Ryan's playful spirit. The 2024 celebration involved building a '3-foot card tower,' fostering camaraderie and shared memories.

New Traditions and Connections

The 2025 event included 'go to an art museum to appreciate art,' featuring a Monet exhibit. This year also marked the beginning of piano lessons, with Leslie teaching the first lesson on Ryan's birthday, adding a touch of irony and connection despite Ryan's lack of piano skills.

Embracing Grief and Cherishing Memories

This tradition has become more than a personal tribute; it resonates deeply with others, with many offering support online. Leslie finds solace in the ritual, especially as her sons approach the age their father was when he wrote the list. She believes the tradition helps children know what kind of person their father was.

Leslie Harter-Berg acknowledges the pain of loss but finds profound value in actively preserving her husband's memory. The tradition continues to evolve, incorporating new family members like her husband Solomon Berg and son Rhys, demonstrating a balance between honoring the past and embracing the present.

The annual ritual serves as a time for reflection, learning, and growth. 'We pause to feel what we feel,' Leslie states, hoping the tradition will keep Ryan's memory alive for her sons as they mature. She reflects, 'He was this magical person that should still be here, and he's not. That feeling great that people are celebrating him.'