In observance of March, National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month, Shay spoke out about the tragic loss of her husband, Tanner, who died from colon cancer in June 2025 at the age of 30. She detailed the early warning signs they initially dismissed, emphasizing the critical need for increased awareness regarding this disease.

The Misinterpreted Early Symptoms of Colon Cancer

Shay recalled that the very first symptom Tanner exhibited was bright red blood during bowel movements, which occurred approximately one year prior to his diagnosis. At the time, both of them mistakenly attributed this to hemorrhoids.

Progression of Tanner's Symptoms

Over the subsequent year, Tanner began experiencing a cluster of other concerning issues. These included persistent stomach pain and frequent urges to use the bathroom without achieving a feeling of complete evacuation.

He also developed lower back pain. Since they were actively going to the gym, they assumed the pain resulted from a lifting injury sustained during workouts. Lower back pain is noted as a semi-common symptom associated with the disease.

The Shocking Diagnosis

The situation escalated significantly when Tanner began hemorrhaging blood. By this point, a colonoscopy had already been scheduled due to his previous complaints about the other symptoms.

Shay described a noticeable shift in energy after Tanner returned from the procedure, something she only recognized in hindsight. The doctor entered the room, sat down, and delivered the devastating news.

November 26, 2020: The Turning Point

The doctor informed Tanner that the colonoscopy could not be completed because a tumor, blocking the entire colon, was found about 10 centimeters inside. He stated, “I’m 99% sure that it’s cancerous.”

The following five years were marked by intense treatment, including at least five different chemotherapy regimens and multiple rounds of radiation. Tanner also underwent several major surgeries and battled sepsis for eight months.

Living Life Amidst the Battle

Despite the rigorous medical journey, the couple prioritized living fully. Tanner successfully completed his bachelor’s degree while Shay earned her master’s degree. They also managed to travel and conceived their daughter.

Tragically, when Shay was about six months pregnant, Tanner’s treatment protocols ceased being effective. Their daughter, AmyLou, was born in May 2025, and Tanner passed away the following month.

Advocacy and Confronting Stigma

Shay has since traveled to Washington, D.C., to speak with members of Congress about colon cancer. She highlighted the concerning trend that colon cancer is the only cancer among the top five killers that is seeing increased incidence among younger populations.

She stressed that the common perception of colon cancer being strictly an ailment for older individuals is outdated. “There’s this mindset that colon cancer is for old people, but it’s not anymore,” she stated.

The Importance of Patient Advocacy

Shay urged individuals experiencing symptoms to advocate forcefully for themselves and press their doctors for necessary testing, specifically requesting a colonoscopy. She admitted that if she and Tanner had recognized the symptoms sooner, they would have pushed harder, but they did not consider colon cancer a possibility for them.

Shay is passionate about sharing their experience, noting they both intentionally lived their lives while preparing for the end. They engaged in difficult, necessary conversations regarding life support, funeral wishes, and how to continue Tanner's legacy.

Supporting Young Widows

Shay recently organized her inaugural not-for-profit widows retreat, a two-night event hosting 20 women under the age of 45 from across the U.S. and Canada. Activities included yoga, self-defense, breathwork, and glamour photography sessions.

Presenters included a death doula who discussed holding rituals for deceased husbands and a content creator who spoke on loving after loss. Shay emphasized that being a young widow is isolating, and connecting these women was the most rewarding aspect.

Four women at the retreat had also lost their husbands to colon cancer, while others experienced different types of loss. Shay noted that she experienced anticipatory grief while Tanner was alive, and while his death brought sadness, she was relieved his suffering ended.

She shared that difficult days still arise, particularly when she fears forgetting him, his laugh, or his voice. The thought of AmyLou growing up without her father is also challenging, despite Tanner leaving behind videos and letters to bridge that gap.

Shay believes Tanner would be proud of the retreat, as he always loved attention. She concluded that while they are not healed, they are no longer alone in their grief.