Changing your name, especially after a life event like marriage, can signify a new chapter. However, it’s common to encounter resistance or simply habit from those who knew you previously.

The Challenge of a Name Change

One individual wrote to Harriette Cole expressing frustration that people continue to use their former name despite their preference for their new, more traditional name. They questioned whether this was due to dislike of the change or simply ingrained habit.

Acceptance and Habit

Harriette Cole advises against begrudging friends and family for continuing to use the old name. She explains that old names can become “sacred” to those who have known you for a long time, and breaking lifelong habits is difficult. Cole suggests accepting that old friends may continue to use the former name, and it can even become endearing over time.

Addressing Unwanted Habits

Another letter detailed a struggle with a compulsive habit: hair picking. This habit, initially focused on the back of the head, resurfaced in adulthood, now targeting the crown, and causing noticeable hair loss.

Finding Solutions for Compulsive Behavior

The individual has resorted to wearing hats to conceal the bald spot. Harriette Cole suggests retraining oneself to break the habit. She recommends using fidget toys – like rubber balls or stress balls – to occupy the hands and redirect the compulsive behavior.

Seeking Professional Help

Cole also advises considering therapy to address potential underlying issues contributing to the habit and develop effective coping strategies. Fidget toys are readily available at toy stores, department stores, and online retailers like Amazon.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative dedicated to helping people achieve their dreams. Questions can be sent to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.