At 17, the author experienced a life-altering panic attack, finding themselves gasping for air and convinced they were dying. The sensation felt like a heart attack, with a constricted chest and a violently pounding heart.

The Initial Attack and Aftermath

The panic attack occurred after a night of drinking and the anticipation of attending the Reading Music Festival. The thought of being in a crowded mosh pit triggered an overwhelming wave of anxiety, leading to the physical symptoms of the attack. The author describes the experience as akin to facing a tsunami or a plummeting car.

Skipping the festival didn't end the ordeal. The initial panic attack led to months of crippling anxiety, social isolation, and difficulty eating. However, focusing on activities like studying and working as a waitress provided temporary relief.

How Times Have Changed

The author reflects on how the experience might differ for teenagers today. Social media could amplify insecurities and create feelings of inadequacy, while online communities focused on mental health struggles could reinforce a negative self-identity.

Access to benefits like Personal Independence Payments (PIP) could offer validation but potentially create a cycle of dependency, impacting educational and career choices. The author questions whether they would have continued with college, their job, or pursued university.

Britain's Anxiety Crisis

Britain is currently facing a growing anxiety crisis, with over 185,000 young people aged 18-24 out of work due to ill health – nearly double the number from a decade ago. As of July 2025, over 633,000 people were receiving PIP for anxiety and mood disorders.

The Welfare Debate

A recent report from Tony Blair’s think-tank proposed an “emergency handbrake” on benefit claims, suggesting that conditions like anxiety and ADHD shouldn’t automatically qualify for cash benefits. This proposal has sparked significant controversy.

Critics argue the proposal is an attack on vulnerable individuals, while the charity Scope warned that denying benefits could worsen anxiety. The debate is polarized between concerns about benefit abuse and the need for adequate mental health support. The author suggests both extremes miss the core issue.

The central question is how best to support those struggling with mental health: is a generous safety net enabling dependency, or is it a compassionate approach? For individuals with mild depression, anxiety, or ADHD, the current system may be unintentionally detrimental.