Dear Annie Lane: I am writing to you with a delicate problem concerning my husband, “Ted.” He has developed a habit that I find deeply embarrassing, and I’m seeking advice on how to address it without upsetting him.

The Backstory: Denture Discomfort

About a year ago, Ted was involved in an accident with his brother and nephews, resulting in the loss of five teeth. Partial dentures were fitted by our dentist. Ted has a low pain tolerance and has struggled to adjust to them, despite my encouragement – as a longtime denture wearer myself – to seek adjustments from the dentist if needed.

Dental implants are not currently feasible due to our fixed income as retirees.

The Embarrassing Habit

Ted consistently wears his dentures when we go out. However, as soon as they become uncomfortable, he removes them, seemingly without consideration for his surroundings. This has happened at concerts, movies, church, sporting events, restaurants, and gatherings with friends and family.

I am increasingly mortified and have begun to avoid public outings with him, even making excuses to decline invitations.

Seeking a Solution

I’m unsure how to approach this situation. Casual mentions haven’t led to lasting change, while a direct confrontation risks upsetting him. I need a workable solution.

Annie Lane’s Advice

While Ted’s discomfort is understandable, removing his dentures in public is unacceptable. Don’t hint at your discomfort; instead, plainly and kindly tell him that his actions embarrass you and are impacting your willingness to socialize.

Suggest a simple rule: if he needs a break from the dentures, he should excuse himself to the restroom or step outside.

A New Chapter & Seeking Connection

I am retiring this spring after 32 years as a medical receptionist. My life has largely revolved around my husband and raising our three children, who are now grown and living in Phoenix, Chicago, and graduate school.

I recently realized I lack close friendships outside of two former co-workers and am unsure how to fill my days now that my children are independent and my husband continues to work full-time.

Annie Lane’s Response to Loneliness

After years of caring for others, it’s time to prioritize yourself. Now is the perfect opportunity to pursue long-held interests. Consider painting, singing lessons, or even a solo trip.

Expand your social circle by joining volunteer groups, exercise classes, or book clubs, and attend consistently. Building friendships takes time, so view it as planting seeds – some will flourish, and others won’t.

Annie Lane offers common-sense solutions to everyday problems, inspired by Ann Landers. She resides outside Manhattan with her family and can be reached at dearannie@creators.com.