Dear Abby: Unwanted Hospital Support

Dealing with Well-Intentioned Offers

A 62-year-old woman wrote to Dear Abby expressing frustration with family and friends offering to “come and sit with” her while her husband recovers from a broken hip. Despite politely declining, these individuals insist on coming regardless, seemingly disregarding her “No” as a complete sentence.

A Routine Procedure, Not a Crisis

The writer emphasized that her husband’s situation is not life-threatening; he simply fell and broke his hip, a condition readily addressed with a routine hip replacement. She feels capable of managing the situation independently and doesn’t require a chaperone.

Abby’s Advice: Temper and Understanding

Dear Abby acknowledged the writer’s frustration but advised controlling a “sometimes explosive” temper. She suggested that those offering support may be motivated by concern for potential complications, even if the surgery is considered routine. Abby encouraged politely refusing the offers while recognizing their good intentions.

Dear Abby: Long-Distance Dilemma

Relocation and Family Responsibilities

Another letter detailed a nearly 40-year-old woman’s anxiety about moving across the country to join her fiancé. She loves her partner but fears leaving her family on the East Coast, particularly with her father hospitalized for a year and a half and her mother struggling with health issues.

Concerns for Siblings

The writer also expressed worry about her brother, who has a history of alcohol abuse and seizures. This creates a conflict between her personal happiness with her fiancé and her sense of obligation to her family.

Abby’s Counsel: Prioritize Self and Seek Professional Help

Dear Abby advised that after nearly 40 years, the likelihood of her mother and brother changing their lifestyles is slim. She recommended consulting a licensed psychologist to address the anxiety surrounding pursuing her own happiness by moving west. Abby encouraged the writer to live her own life instead of clinging to a “fruitless fantasy” that her relatives will change if she remains nearby.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.