The weekly advice column featuring native New Yorkers Grandma Gail and Kim tackles pressing issues ranging from modern dating dilemmas to protracted divorces. The duo promises tough love on taboo subjects like family feuds, money, marriage, and sex, offering counsel from their distinct viewpoints.

Navigating Unwanted Advances from a Friend's Partner

A reader is facing an uncomfortable situation where her best friend's boyfriend has escalated his behavior from simple kindness to inappropriate flirting. This includes compliments on her appearance and liking her suggestive social media posts, known as "thirst traps." The reader is torn between confronting him, informing her friend, or remaining silent to preserve the friendship.

Kim's Advice: Direct and Private Confrontation

Kim suggests addressing the gentleman directly and privately. She advises pulling him aside, perhaps while he is buying a drink, to state clearly that his flirting is making her uncomfortable.

  • The reader should acknowledge his behavior might be unintentional flirting but firmly ask him to stop.
  • Kim emphasizes that the reader's primary allegiance is to her friend, not the boyfriend.
  • If the boyfriend attempts to turn the situation around by accusing the reader of inappropriate behavior, she should tell her friend that she confronted him because she felt uncomfortable.

Grandma Gail's Perspective on Honesty

Grandma Gail agrees that honesty is crucial in this scenario. She believes the reader should tell her friend that the boyfriend is putting her in an uncomfortable position, framing it as a direct conversation rather than just "tattling."

Both advisors feel it is vital to address the situation before the boyfriend's actions escalate further. They suggest that while it might be his natural, friendly personality, the reader must act if she feels uneasy.

Next Steps for the Reader

The consensus is that the reader should pull the boyfriend aside first to express her feelings. If she is unsatisfied with his response, she should then escalate the matter to her best friend. The key is not to wait for him to make a more explicit move.

Guidance on Ending a Protracted Divorce

Dealing with a Stalled Legal Process

Another reader wrote in, exhausted by a messy divorce where her husband refuses to sign the papers, causing significant emotional strain. Grandma Gail expresses sympathy, noting that when lawyers are involved, the client must try to "chill out" and wait for the final disputes to conclude.

Prioritizing Peace Over Small Battles

Grandma Gail strongly advises the reader to concede on minor issues, such as property disputes, to expedite the finalization. She suggests that letting go of smaller assets can lead to long-term peace of mind, especially if the situation feels toxic.

Kim adds that mentally moving on is difficult until the divorce is legally finalized. However, she encourages the reader to begin establishing her new life structure now, even before the papers are signed, emphasizing that sooner is better than later.