Asking Eric: My boss resents me because I won’t look the other way Plus: My boyfriend is acting strange about this group trip my ex will be on. Should I not go? My boss is what could be called a “functioning alcoholic,” which in this case means that, in spite of having a severe drinking problem, he manages to hold down a job, even while actively drunk.Asking Eric: Since I found the pictures of my wife, a new worry is gnawing at meAsking Eric: Should I bother asking why they cut me off? Over the years, I have been phasing out the act of “looking the other way. ” My refusal to accept his drinking has led him to cast his wrath upon me on occasion. He thinks that I am trying to take him down. What I want is for him and for everyone in my office to face reality.I feel let down by my boss. A big part of my job is to make him look good, and it seems like he is sabotaging my efforts. I have now basically given up my support for him. If I were to report him to upper management or talk to him about it directly , he would just clean up his act for a few days and then revert. Now it feels like working for him is making me an enabler of his habit. I am seeking some way, any way, to cope here.It will help you to put an internal boundary between you and your boss. In your letter, there seems to be a sense of personal responsibility for, or disappointment in, your boss and his actions. While his drinking is a professional problem that’s impacting your ability to do your job, stopping it seems to have taken on aspects of a personal crusade. It’s telling that you feel like you’re enabling him. Doing your job, even if that job requires fixing his mistakes, isn’t enabling. There’s a hierarchy here; you don’t have the power. Drawing that distinction for yourself is going to be helpful. It may not be feasible for you to make him and everyone in the office face reality. Nor is that your job. To that end, talking to management is going to be a better choice than continuing to be drawn into and triggered by his actions. You can express your concerns about him – there is absolutely help available – but your focus in this conversation with management needs to be on what you need in order to be able to do your job successfully. That’s the thing you can control.I have a very friendly relationship with my ex-partner that my boyfriend resents. He never has anything nice to say about him and is always misreading the things my ex says and does. I think my boyfriend mostly resents the fact that I have a close relationship with my ex because his relationship with his ex is basically nonexistent. I don’t blame him for wanting nothing to do with his ex. Everything I’ve heard about the ex sounds terrible. My ex, who is really just a good friend at this point, is part of a group trip that we’ve been invited on this spring. I really want to go but my boyfriend is acting very strange about it. He keeps talking about the cost. And he complains that he doesn’t want to take time away from work. On one hand, sure. In relationships, we should be able to take what the other person says as the truth, or the truth as they understand it. And, in turn, we should endeavor to speak with vulnerability and transparency. So many relationships get hamstrung by one or both partners expecting the other to read their minds. But when it comes to boyfriends, girlfriends, partners, spouses, the psychic hotline is disconnected. We have to say what’s on our minds.Miss Manners: Is it now wrong to say ‘how do you do’?Harriette Cole: My new marriage is interfering with my me time To that end, you should be able to take what your boyfriend is saying at face value. But that sentiment has an asterisk the size of an asteroid: I wouldn’t recommend you do that now. Although his doubts are unfounded, his insecurities are part of what he’s communicating to you. So, whether or not you decide to go away with your friends, you and your boyfriend need to have a conversation about trust. And he’d be wise to work on whatever trauma is still lingering from his last relationship. He doesn’t have to be best friends with your ex, but our partners don’t get to dictate who our friends are. This friendship was a part of your life when your current relationship started; he needs to learn how to accept it because that’s a part of accepting you. Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.This Sacramento suburb is booming. Here's what you don't want to missNewsom issues 'final warning' to cities over housing law violations — only one is in the Bay AreaSwalwell accuses President Donald Trump, Kash Patel of trying to influence California governor's raceDUI arrest for teen in fatal San Jose collision