The $10 million emotional disconnect

Being able to identify and name your emotions is key to managing them effectively. However, many people struggle to put their feelings into words, which can lead to feelings of disconnection and overwhelm. In this article, we explore the reasons behind this struggle and provide practical tips for learning to identify and describe your emotions.

From understanding the science behind emotion processing to using tools like the Feelings Wheel, we'll show you how to develop a greater awareness of your emotions and improve your emotional well-being.

Why 10% of the population is 'emotionally blind'

The phenomenon known as alexithymia or 'emotion blindness' literally means 'an inability to describe feelings correctly' and it affects around 10 per cent of the population. There are many reasons why we may struggle to name our emotions, including differences in brain processing, early experiences with caregivers and their emotional range, or genetic factors.

Even if you don't suffer with alexithymia, there are many reasons why we may struggle to name our emotions. Societal and cultural pressures to put on a brave face may mean that we've learned to cut off from our emotoins. the culture within our family of origin may have dictated that certain emotions are off limits.

A traditionally gendered view may suggest that particular emotions are masculine or feminiine - that expressing anger if you're a woman or sadness if you're a man is frowned upon, for example.

What auditors flagged in the May filing

A 2021 book, Atlas of the Heart surveyed 7,000 people over five years, asking them to list the emotions they could recognise and name, as they experienced them... the average number of emotions named across the surveys was three: happy, sad and angry. Anyone who has watched the 2015 animated film, Inside Out may be able to name five emotions - joy, sadness, fear, anger and disgust.

If you caught the 2024 sequel, you can likely name another four - anxiety, envy, embarrassment and ennui. The Atlas of the Heart authors actually determined that there are eighty-seven emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human.

Who is the unnamed buyer?

Learning the language of emotions is just like learning any other language. Imagine going abroad and trying to communicate your needs without the language to do so. You might be able to muddle through with basic words or even sign language, but it can make you feel more confident and in control when navigating your life to have the right language roll off your tongue!

In my new book, Find Your Path to Acceptance, I explain that science tells us that even by naming what we're feeling, the intensity of that feeling will drop a little and we feel less overwhelmed by it.